My, what a big nose you have!
by Gremlin23
Summary: Little one-shot I wrote a while back per request, because Snape is not a complete arsehole and deserves some love too. Rated for naughty situations, though not explicit.


Elleanore, Professor McLeod to her students and Elle to her friends, could feel herself tingling all over as she swam. It was a guilty pleasure of hers, doubly so because of the chance, slight as it is, of being caught. Still, she couldn't resist her midnight swims in the black lake. The icy cold water was invigorating, making her feel more alive. Of course, she always took care to head back before she started getting numb. A refreshing swim was one thing, frostbite quite another.

"What exactly is going on here then?" Severus Snape, bat of the dungeons, asked the group of seventh-years all grouped together in the boathouse. He knew very well they were ogling what he thought was a mermaid swimming in the moonlight, but the question, or ones like it, always made students squirm when he said it just right. Not looking anywhere other than at the group of dunderheads in front of him, he shook his head and sighed. "One would think, coming from the great houses and old families you do, that my eldest Slytherins would have more class than drooling over a pair of teats from a hiding place. HAVE YOU NO SHAME!" He eyed the group of four, all silent and staring at their feet. While none would believe it, he was in fact just as strict with his snakes as he was with the blundering Gryffindors. He simply believed that such matters were best dealt with in the common room, or elsewhere out of sight. "Twenty-five points from Slytherin. Each!" he continued, sneering at their gasp. "Each of you will report for detention with me this weekend, to be served separately. I will let you know of the details tomorrow morning." There, he thought as they scrambled to get back to their dorms, let them stew on that.

As he was about to leave, a splashing noise drew his attention back to the lake. There, at the edge of the dock, stood a sight that nearly made him lose his famous composure. "Professor McLeod," He greeted stiffly, his occlumency allowing him to keep his eyes on her wet face, and not on the dry robes he was sure had nothing but warm-blooded Scotswoman underneath. "Och Severus, 'aven't I told ye ta call me Elle? We both know ye aren't the cold bastard ye make yerself oot ta be ye know." Despite his best efforts, Elle could see his biology betraying him and only just hid a smile. His robes were bulky enough that no one would know what they hid, so she pretended not to notice her effect on the man. 'Do you require some assistance Professor?" Snape asked carefully. He neither needed nor wanted to offend the woman, and kept his tone neutral so as not to betray his... state.

"Well, ye can walk me back to me rooms I reckon. Who knows what lurks about the shadows at this hour?" She asked, already linking her arm into his and heading up the stairs, his answer a forgone conclusion. The pair was silent as they made their way through the castle halls, Severus looking straight ahead and Elle hiding a smile at the mans' discomfort. They both knew the portraits, the story would be across the castle by morning. "Good night, professor," Snape said as they reached the door to her rooms. "Would you care for a wee drap a something warm Severus?" Elle asked as she opened the door. "No, thank you. Good night." Severus replied and turned to leave. Elle had a naughty smile on her face as she dropped the robes from her shoulders, making sure Severus caught the sight of her rear before the door closed behind her.

Severus cursed himself for the umpteenth time as he found himself once again in the boathouse. No matter what he told himself, he couldn't dismiss the desire to come her once again. He'd checked and rechecked himself for compulsion charms and potions but found nothing. He couldn't explain it, but here he was, looking out at the lake and the pale figure moving through it. Soon enough she drew close, drifting lazily on her back, and Severus turned around quickly. He told himself that it was to protect her modesty. That he was most certainly NOT blushing. He wasn't some bumbling Hufflepuff! "Severus, wha a lovely surprise. Come to escort me back to ma rooms again?" The voice of the Herbology teacher reached his ears from behind. He turned around and caught just a flash of something pale as she closed her robe. Curse the woman, she was toying with him! She did that on purpose, and that smile! He said nothing of course, merely escorted her back to her rooms and made sure to turn around before she started closing the door. Ye gods but the woman was a temptress.

The next morning was a Saturday, for which Severus was grateful. No dunderheads trying to blow themselves up was wonderful for his nerves after all. He was busy brewing some potions and salves for the hospital wing when a knock came from the lab door. He frowned and opened the door to find a large bunch of herbs and plants behind it. "What is the meaning of this? I asked for no more ingredients, who sent you? Well? Speak up?" Severus was close to losing his temper with the bundle of twigs and leaves that was even now pushing him back into his own classroom. "Och don' get yer knickers inna twist ye great bat. Ahm only bein 'elpful!" The voice he dreaded and couldn't get enough of sounded from behind it all. "Now, where do ye wan' these 'erbs then?" she asked, tossing it all down onto an empty bench. In horror, Snape watched as a leaf drifted through the air and straight into a bubbling cauldron. "Look-!" he tried to warn her but it was too late. Even as he dove towards her, the cauldron exploded, splashing both their robes with a now-acidic potion that quickly started eating away at the fabric. With a shriek Elle started tearing off her robes, moving on to her shirt and long skirt as the acid had started on that too. Severus didn't notice as he too was ripping off his clothes as fast as he could. "Well, tha' wasn't how ah planned on gettin this far, but 'ere we are." Severus felt a hand on his shoulder and turned despite knowing what he'd find. He barely had time to see purple lace on creamy white skin before her lips touched his and he was gone from the world.


End file.
